All
I wanted to do somehow capture her attention and caught her smile that directed
to me. But, never cross in my mind that my pure intention to cheer her up would
burn me.
Coming
to Scott’s Celebration party, I never imagined that event kept stuck in the
back of my head. Scott held a party to celebrate his marriage. It was a long
ago, but it was still lingering in my head as a plague. Scott was like second
brother to me, I did know also his wife, Mia. Of course I could not miss that
so I came and be part of his happy day.
While
sat and waited the happy couple to enter the venue, first I noticed a girl, a petite
girl with pale pink lace dress standing in front of the reception. Her simple
dress hugged her curvy body perfectly, her simple make up made her more enticing.
She clasped her hands, her bea…, I meant her face even couldn’t hide her
nervous.
As
the happy couple coming down to walk to the centre of the room, for a moment, I
forget about her. Scott walked hand in hand with Mia, he wore white tux that
matched perfectly with Mia’s dress. He had stupid smile on his. I couldn’t
blame him; finally, he made her his wife. Mia was nice girl and I could see
they love each other. Her white dress made Mia more beautiful tonight. Don’t
get me wrong, I didn’t like her that way. But, I had no idea if, she was also
there, behind the Scott and Mia’s parent. That petite girl, she was walking
with them with her soft smile. I intentionally caught her shy smile trough my
phone when I took the couple’s picture. She was more charming when she smile.
Scott
and Mia stayed on the centre of the room to greet their guest and I saw that
petite girl was moving around and had some words with some people who in charge
in that party. So she was the bridesmaid also?
••••••••••••••
Coming
from the toilet, and then I saw her again. She was talking with a guy in the
corner of the room. From where I stood, I didn’t know what they’re talking
about but worry and nervous was still clear in her face. I wondered, what made
her that worry?
She
changed her pouted with brighter smile when that guy gave her view words and
put a hand in her shoulder for reassurance? And then something very odd and
strange seemed to stab in the pit of my stomach. Shook myself free from the
unfamiliar sensation, I couldn’t help but wondering who the hell was that guy?
What was he to her? She tilted her head to him and grasped his other arm. A
glint of the ring on her left hand shocked me to the core. What was the matter
with me? It was absolutely none of my business. Why should I care? I was coming
here for Scott and Mia. I was coming here with Anna, my girlfriend. I shouldn’t
feel this way to the mere girl that I met minutes ago. It was nothing but pure
curiosity. I put the uneasy feeling aside and decided to enjoy this party. So,
I moved my feet to where the food and drink were.
After
few drinks and I went back to the main area, a minute from now, Scott and Mia
would give little speech and I wouldn’t miss that moment. I joint my brother,
Anna and the other guest that sat on the left side of the room. As Scott read
his speech, the guess and I laughed to what he said. He was really enjoying his
time telling us about his love life. I couldn’t blame Mia who was smiling ear
to ear with what he said. He had a romantic and funny side. I almost envied
him, he was happily married to the love of his life.
••••••••••••••
After
talked with my brother who sat behind me, facing Scott and Mia, then I saw her.
Standing on Mia right side, she was murmuring something in Mia’s ear. So, she
was Mia’s family? Was she her sister? I couldn’t go wrong, you could see the
resemblances; she had the same cheek bone as Mia’s but that petite girl was
curvier than her. When Mia, her mom and her took a picture together, they had
something similar on their face. But wasn’t about the resemblances that capturing
my attention. When the camera man took their picture, a smile appeared on her
lips and she blushed shyly. That sight of her smile had my blood singing.
።።።።።።
A brush
from Anna pulled my head in her direction. Anna commented about the simple yet
beautiful decoration. She showed me with her finger; hanging flower above your
head and on each other side the room. I barely heard what Anna said, when she
poked my with her finger to look to my right, I just followed her finger. I
felt guilty not to pay attention to her talk but something or someone caught my
mind. Of course she didn’t know what possessed my thought and I wouldn’t say anything
to her.
There
she was. A glimpse of light that drew my attention like a moth to a flame. She
walked towards me; I meant she moved pass where I sat. My lips curved on its
accord. I could see her black irises enlarge, taking me all in. She was
watching me with an expression so intense that I immediately felt conscious. She
wore the look of innocence and surprise when she caught my eye. Walking away to
other side the room, she didn’t even return the smile that I offered.
As
the event continued, she passed my way again. I didn’t think that my pure
intention to just give her smile will affect me this bad. I couldn’t look away.
As she come closer, she curved in the sweetest smile had I ever see. The way
she smiled was like driving stake straight through my chest. Her eyes sparkled
with curiousness. I couldn’t tear my eyes from her dark one. I didn’t know that
until she was gone I finally let go of the breath that was subconsciously
holding.
Shaking
the foreign though from my head, I followed Marcus, my brother and Anna. We met
our old friends; Ben and Sam. As I talked with the guys, Marcus, Anna and the
other got back inside to have last words with Scott before catch our flight. A
phone call from Marcus reminded me to be back and joint them so we didn’t late
for flying back to our home. So I said goodbye to Ben and Sam to meet Scott.
Stepping
back into the main area to meet Scott before I go, I was frozen in my track. My
eyes were drawn to one girl in particular. There she was, talking animatedly
with Scott, Scott’s Mum, Jane and his dad, Peter. Jane words made her giggle
and she was laughing to what Peter, said. My feet cemented in place, I even could
not utter a words to get the happy guy’s attention. To my benefit, Scott’s back
was facing me, so she was the one who saw me approaching. I opened my mouth but
closed it again when she tore her eyes from Scott to me. Her laughing died
immediately when she caught me standing two feet away from them. She said
something to Scott and finally the guy turned his head with his bright smile.
She
stepped a foot away to give Scott and me more privacy. I had pretended to not
to look at her but every nerve in my body was only too aware of her presence.
From the corner of my eye, I see her redden cheek still appeared in her tanned
face. When I looked up and met hers, I couldn’t help but think about how
gorgeous she was. I could felt my heart pumping faster inside my chest. I almost
lost my words Scott’s talk pulled my mind back to him.
I
was unable to ignore her when suddenly she spoke. Her voice was smooth and low.
Her dark Asian eyes lit up and a smile appeared on her lips. A blush covered
her cheeks when she finished her talk. She told him that she would walk me to
the reception. Scott was agree to her suggestion and hugged me before I walked
away. Nodding as replied, somehow words was lost in my mind, I couldn’t even
say anything. She waltzed ahead towards the reception. I could only follow hot
on her heels. I stared at her back, sure that she could feel my gaze boring
into her as she walked.
There
was something about her that drew me in that I couldn’t describe. It wasn’t
even that she was knockout beauty. That was Anna, My girlfriend and other girls
I’ve date. I tried to put finger on why I had an attraction to that girl but I
gave up after moments. It wasn’t anything specific about her, just the fact
that she reminded me of sunshine, a day after the rain, sitting on the grass under
the trees; the sun warmly against blue skies and the wind blow your face. It
was like summer day.
I
couldn’t pinpoint the specific reason I was reacting strongly to the girl
except she inspire the feel of beautiful summer day was unsettling. The
realization worried me a little. I had a girlfriend who right now was waiting
with my brother here, somewhere. She was amazing and we have a really good
relationship. I didn’t need another drama in my life. That petite curvy dark
eyes girl was just a girl who can make the world lit up a bit with only a
smile. I felt a pull towards her that couldn’t be explained. But she wasn’t my
type at all. She was just a random girl that I found it interesting, that must
be the only reason. Nothing more! I shouldn’t have thought this way. I should
have put this unsettling think to other side of my mind. Anna was waiting and
so my plane. I had to have going.
She
stopped in front of the reception and then turned her body to face me. Taking wedding
gift and held it in her small hand. She had been smiling when she looked up and
met my gaze. What I could feel was breath rush inside. She was said something
when I stood in front of her, I was too absorbed to have caught it. My eyes
glued to her pink lips. I blinked my eyes when I heard her said about “flight,
my flight”. I managed to reply her without lost words. She even told me that in
fact she was Mia’s sister. She was surprise when I told her I know about that
fact. Her eyes widened at surprise of my words. She didn’t believe that I knew
that she was Mia’s family. Her dark eyes searched my green one, waited me to
tell her how I know that fact. So I told her that she had the same structure
cheek bone as Mia’s. She smiled and blushed after hearing my talk. She seemed
like a girl who wore emotions plain in her face. She opened her mouth about to
say something but closed it up when she saw the moving from my hand.
Putting
both my hands in my chest, I was having hard time to focused to keep my mind on
track so I didn’t do or say something I wasn’t hope for. I was close to lift my
right hand from my chest to grab hers when I saw her hand. Shaking hands was
simple gesture when we meet people but I didn’t know why I couldn’t do that. I
thought that was the right way in that moment. I was acting so out of my
character. This wasn’t like me at all. I always love to meet new people; there
was nothing to lose than be friendly. But not towards her, I didn’t even trust
myself when she was standing too close for my comfort. What I could do was
blink my eyes to shaking from this unfamiliar experience. What was happening to
me?
What
I didn’t imagine that sad were so clearly expressed in her face. Disappointment
quickly shadow and a sigh unintentionally left her lips while her eyes
transfixed on my hand that almost pulls hers. There was so much confusion and
hurt in her eyes that it pained me to look at her. But I was also afraid to
just doing that simple movement. I was afraid I would do something out of
control? I even did have no idea what I might to do. This was really crazy.
She
breathed in deeply and lifted her hand to give me the wedding gift without
brushing my hand. I stood dumbly in front of her and take it forgetting what I
supposed to do after that. Her last smile disarmed me completely but I knew I
couldn’t stay. Not because I had to catch my flight but because I couldn’t do
what she expect me to do. She seemed know that I couldn’t give an answer to her
unspoken questions. Trying to hide her disappointment, she said goodbye with
her weak smile.
There
was a pang guilt fill my heart but I knew that was the best way. I should go
then farewell were definitely unavoidable. I nervously waited her to say something,
more questions or more words before I go but nothing come for her lips.
Realised the breath that I was holding, I should know that was what I hope for.
After all I got my wish but still there was pressure in my chest. She gave me
one more smile and tilted her head to the exit door.
Goodbye
was hard, but never getting one was worst. It leaved a door that should have
been shut. It made you believe and hoped for things you shouldn’t.
Do you ever feel when
your mouth went dry and the words in your head melted away?
I felt that way. Oh
God, why? Why one man and also at our first meet have such significant effect
on me with just one look? Oh yeah, I felt the pull towards him that couldn’t be
explained, Yes I supposed the attraction was a large factor with that, as I was
urge to understand him, but there was something else. There had to be right? But
what was that?
Crap! Writing this bring
back memories. Duh! I didn’t know why, maybe because of my disappointment when
he lifted his hand to shake mine, but he seemed to have thought better of it
and pulled back. Why? A sigh unintentionally left my lips while my eyes stayed
transfixed on the hand that almost touched me. I didn’t know why I craved for
him to touch me. Even the slightest pat or brush of our flesh was enough. I hated to have this kind of feeling. I really hated when a guy make your tummy flutterd oneday and the other day you wasn't anybody to him. I know that was my fault to have that kind of feeling. But I just felt that, I didn't chose or forced it. And is not easy to just erase or forget even I know that I have no chance. There was no If or maybe. There was never a chance but still I tried. In the end, I'am the one who get hurt. He is already taken, not legally yet but still he isn't available. Sigh. Wake up girl! Accept that reality so you can learn to let go and move forward. Hear this song and stop mourning! There is bunch of fish on the sea.
It was a lovely day. It was a wedding celebration party.
I don’t know a thing about him. This is our first meet.
I had pretended to not look at him and with no glasses on me
make an additional help but every nerve in my body was only too aware about him.
He kept smile widely. At first, I didn’t think that he was smile
at me but there was no one behind. I know where his eyes kept staring at. Mine.
His goofy grin turned me into
smile, and the moment our eyes had met I become mesmerized. Oh yeah, he has a
beautiful blue eyes and charming smile but most of all there was something that
completely drew me in.
Peace inside for the first time we look into his eyes, that was
simply crazy and unexplainable.
After a simply smile scene, I kept moving. I had bunch things to
do on that time and he was nowhere to be found.
Time passed. Plop!
He showed up in front on me when I was busy talking to his
friend. Oh yeah, his friend is friend of mine. I know he is friend of my
friend and that was a little thing I know about him. I talked to his friend and
let him stand there. Did he want to talk to his friend? Or? He messed his curly
hair, stand still and looked at me. I put a smile and kept talking. He didn’t
move and stroke back of his hair and then smiled shyly at me. What was
happening to him? Why didn’t he just pat his friend shoulder and stopped our
little conversation so he could talk to his friend, I mean our friend? Oh boy!
I felt so weird and like there was something in my stomach that I couldn’t tell
what was that?
Ah forget to tell you that, the one who he wanted to talk to was
gave him his back so I was on his view and to make it simple, let just call him
the curl and the other guy (our friend) with the blond.
I was really enjoying his present there but I couldn’t just
being bitch and let him keep waiting. So I let the blond knowledge his presence
there. Again, he gave me a broad smile. Of course I curved my mouth in
response. Moving myself a little to give them space to talk but keep in circle.
I had no intention to hear their conversation. No! I hadn’t finish talking to
my friend so, and he was the one who intruded our chit chat.
The curly man told him that he want to leave the party because
he had to catch his flight. So I proposed myself to walk him on the reception
area and grab him merchandise. I was shock a little, those words just spill
from my mouth without filter from my brain. Smile lovely, the blond welcomed my
offer. I know the blond was busy greeting his others friends and I was
available and I also didn’t know what was gotten into me that time. Why I was
bluntly offering myself. Urggh, do I have a special reason to give a hand?
For some reason, I wanted to
know him better. I wanted to have connection with him. Was it natural to have
the feeling like this to a person who barely I know? I didn’t know.
At first moment, I just saw him from far away for my liking. I
need to make sure that I didn’t have false impression. So I moved my feet and
he was trailing behind. Just walking front him make my stomach twisted into
knot. I felt a pair eyes bored into my back.
Finding the place that we looking for, I just grabbed the
merchandise from the table and gave him without any contact from our skin.
Bring back the memory; the moment I looked into his blue eyes, the world seemed
to have stopped all around us. All I could focus on was he was in front on me
and I could feel my cheek turn red when he kept his eyes into mine while
talking.
We just stood there in
content and smile at one another. I was telling him who I am without mentioning
my name. Talking with him felt as natural as breathing in air and I never
wanted it to end. But he kept his distance. I felt that he was scare to have a
simple contact with me as shaking hands? Normally guy will show me a hand to
sake and telling his name. He spoke with his smile and told me that he knows me
but he didn’t sticking his hand to grab mine. He just kept repeating to scratch his his neck when he talked. I could felt the butterfly in my stomach
keep fluttering. Tell you the truth; I was a little bit disappointed. I didn’t
know his reason but I wouldn’t assume his action. I had felt his nerve wrecking
when he was standing so close to me?
Sending him weak smiles when he said that was his time to go. I
just stared at his back and said nothing. And before I could even understand
what was happening he was already gone.
What was that mean? Was I the one who feel that way? I kept
thinking about him even I told myself not to. I even have this impossible
little hope that someday he will suddenly come to me because he realizes we are
meant to be together. But if we’re meant to be together we both will know in
our hearts what we need to do, right?
The Netherlands is best
known for its tulips, windmills and clogs.
Sixteen and a half million
of the Dutch live in 41,526 square km. That makes the Netherlands one of the
most densely populated countries in the world.
There was an Old Dutch
saying: “While God Created the Earth, the Dutch created the Netherlands”. Two-third
of the Netherlands is at, or below the sea level and vulnerable to flooding. During
the age-long battle against the water, the Dutch have become very innovative
when it comes to keeping out the water. They have built the dykes, canals, windmills
and watermills and as of such the Dutch are renowned for their famous water
engineering projects. They also help countries around the world protect
themselves for water. Furthermore, the Dutch expertise is now being put to use
in New Orleans (U.S) after the disaster caused by hurricane Katrina to protect
it from future flooding.
The Dutch are also known
for their tolerant and pragmatic attitude and although a small country, Holland
is open to the world. Their key to be successful is cooperating with other
countries. The Netherlands is home for international student due to their
openness and tolerance of different cultures. Today,more than 160 different
nationalities live in Holland. The Netherlands was also the first country in Europe to offer courses taught in English. Higher education in Holland
has worldwide reputation for its high quality.
The creative sector of the
Netherlands is world famous for its innovative idea. That is maybe because their
way of teaching and problem solving. Creativity became an important role in
Dutch society. A student is challenged to solve and to think out of the box as
well as working together and sharing knowledge. That was the reason why the
Netherlands has so many pioneers. Studying in the Netherlands offer the
students the space to become a pioneer, be creative and get connected with the
outside the world.
The Netherlands is a world
leader in the subjects of art and culture. They have had many well-known
painters, philosophers, writers and architects. Their culture is rich and diverse,
it reflects regional and international influence which defines the Dutch spirit.
Who doesn’t know Rembrandt, one of the greatest painters in European Art
History or the most significant Dutch painter, Vincent Van Gogh? Find out their
impressive architecture by visiting their city such as; Amsterdam being one of
the jewels of Europe, Rotterdam is best known for its modern architecture and
design, or there’s Utrecht as one of the oldest Dutch cities in the country.
Holland
has proven to be a true pioneer for discovering innovative solutions to
everyday problem. Lately, Dutch designers and engineers have been pioneering to
help make cycling safer. And now, a Dutch design firm is creating a smart
highway that glow in the dark. The Dutch keep shining with their innovative
ideas for a better future for everyone. Unsurprisingly, the Netherlands stands
out for its great inventiveness.
I Write this one on June, 3 2009 and I really like it so I post it here.
Pour le temps, Qui me reponde en courant, Ne me dit pas que c'est une deception, Dit-moi, c'est une expression, Parce que tous le monde a une façon different, Pour manifester ses sentiments, Pour le temps, Qui n'a pas une list d'attend, Faites ce moment d'etre plus longtemps Pourquoi ce bonheur reste toujour dans son pense? Pour le temps qui est toujour curieux Je ne pense pas au futur qu'il est encore misterieux, Pour le temps, Je veux vous dire merci pour chaque jour, Je passe tous le temps sans etre peur Aujourd'hui c'est un cadeau, Parce que vous m'accompagnez toujours,
Je ne trouve pas le meilleur mot pour vous monsieur, Si merci ne suffit pas, Dites-moi, Je vous écoute bien, et des aujoud'hui, Je passe mon jour comme le reste de temps dans ma vie
